The Sparkly Performance Self and the More Mysterious Self

Okay, so this is really another "Shit I've Said to Clients" post . . . Take 2! What did I say exactly? "It seems like you have a sparkly performance self, and a more mysterious self who has her own needs only for her." I really did say this to someone several weeks ago, referring to a manager part we had identified and a deeper, more mysterious part (perhaps “soul,” or whatever word we want to use, but I always suggest this with “beginner’s mind,” as an invitation to wonder and explore, not as a definitive statement, since I feel I should always practice “beginner’s mind” when it comes to the exploration of another person’s deepest layers). We all have manager parts and more performance-oriented parts as well as internal allies and protectors and exiles that develop along the way as we are socialized and experience life. And then there are deeper, more central heart and soul parts. Within the Richard Schwartz Internal Family Systems model, this might be referred to as Self (with a capital-S). You might also refer to it as “the still small voice.” Or you might even just call it Love if you believe, in any way, that something like Love (or any such mystery) might be your true essence. Often, therapy is about finding a way to put that part (Love, Self, the still small voice, heart and soul) in the driver’s seat. And this doesn’t mean the other parts are “bad” at all. They are all well-intentioned and they developed for very good reasons. And when Love (or Self) is in the driver’s seat, an innate balance and harmony tends to ensue (between the other internal parts, which can frequently be polarized — a whole other fun topic! 🤩) Reach out if returning to Self is an ongoing practice you need support with, as I believe it is for 99.9999% of us, unless we are fully enlightened Buddhas (which maybe some of us are!) 🤣🙌🙏