What is Therapy Anyway?

I’ve created a reference guide for you here which includes a condensed version of the first sections of my Informed Consent document, plus some extra information to peruse when you’re confused or have questions. You can always reach out to me if and when you do, but reading material like this makes all the information I might share easier to reference. Brew your tea! I’ve held no bars in explaining the things about which people sometimes get confused.

General Information

Individual therapy is a unique, personal, one-on-one healing relationship and a weekly container of safety, non-judgement and compassion where we both bring ourselves and pull in every moment for you to break through into the next chapter of your unfolding, expression, authenticity and liberation.

Sometimes therapy brings up old (or current) emotions which are difficult to feel. This is to be expected and is not an indicator that we are doing anything wrong. The key is for us to bring our awareness and compassion to the tough stuff, so that we can move all the way through it, allowing it to shift into something else, and then something else again.

At some point, you will begin to feel done with therapy. That’s wonderful! That’s the goal. I always encourage a “goodbye”/graduation session so that we can process our work together, reflect on your progress, plan for future obstacles to maintaining that progress, and also so that I can reflect to you all of the wonderful gifts that I see in you. Many people have a hard time with goodbyes, or the ending of any kind of relationship. Therapy, at its best, should be a corrective experience, allowing you to have the experience of a positive “goodbye,” or a positive shifting of the frame of a relationship in a way that promotes the highest good of all.

More Info About What Therapy Is, What to Expect, and How it Works:

  • Therapy is a process that takes place during and in between weekly sessions, some of which will feel “eventful” and some of which might not. You may not feel drastically “better” during or at the end of any given therapy session. Though epiphanies and breakthroughs can happen in sessions, you’re most likely to feel drastically “better” or “different” at the end of a good course of therapy
  • There is no way for me to tell you exactly how long you will need or want to be in therapy. Generally six months to two years is a good amount of time to receive a thorough course of therapy though there are no rules about that and some people stay in therapy longer than that. Of course, your participation in therapy is always voluntary. You can choose to transition out or transfer to another therapist at any time.
  • There is no magic wand with therapy. Ultimately you are doing the work by showing up and doing your best to dig deep and understand yourself at a more profound level. I will, of course, offer support, reflections and guidance. Unless we are doing EMDR or another curriculum based therapy, there is no strict curriculum for the way I do this. In fact, it’s actually very intuitive, integrative, and individually tailored.
  • The relationship and the weekly rhythm is an important part of the healing factor of therapy. Research clearly shows that a good, solid relationship is the most important transformative factor in therapy, and that, in terms of results, if there is no relationship, it doesn’t even matter what therapeutic modality is being used. The therapy relationship is a human relationship of unconditional positive regard, and total confidentiality (except for a few exceptions we’ll go over), so it is probably unlike any other relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You can literally tell me anything and it will not be judged and it will stay here.
  • You might come to therapy one day at the bottom of the well of sadness, despair or grief, or even in a state of rage about something or other. You might be hung over, not feeling well, or you may have just rolled our of bed. There are a couple of things to know about this: The first is that I encourage this. There is no emotional state that renders one incapable of attending therapy. In fact, there is no better place to experience difficult emotions. The second is that you may come to a therapy session one day feeling utterly depressed, and you might not feel much different at the end of the session. Again, there is no magic wand with therapy, and I certainly do not engage in toxic positivity strategies with people who are feeling depressed. One of the most important healing factors of therapy is that you have a place where you can completely feel some of those huge feelings with a compassionate, non-judgmental witness. There is some evidence that the nervous system and the body might are doing some important purging and releasing when you allow big emotions to emerge while in a safe container with a compassionate witness. With or without the evidence, Ive seen it to be true in my work.
  • At some points, therapy may result in some discomfort for you, which is totally normal. My hope would be that we’ve created a relationship that feels safe and comfortable enough that we can lean into those moments of discomfort together. (I’m happy to answer any questions about what I am referring to here, but in general, within a good course of psychotherapy, defenses or unconscious material may become more clear to you, which almost always results in some discomfort. This is because the defenses developed as survival adaptations in early life, so of course a part of you is very invested in keeping them. And unconscious material has been shoved into the unconscious precisely because you or someone around you finds or found it unacceptable! The hope is that this aspect of therapy promotes greater self-awareness, a more integrated, authentic and whole sense of self, and all around healthier relating.) These moments certainly should not last long or be the defining feature of therapy. For the most part, therapy should (and does) feel like a comfortable, safe, open, honest and easygoing relationship, and it should feel like a time of replenishment, self-care, ease and flow.
  • Traditional psychotherapy, depth-oriented therapy, and EMDR are based on the idea that the psyche has its own healing process and healing ability and we are merely creating a container, guidance, support, and maybe sometimes points of reference for that process. But we trust that whatever you bring to session on a given day is what needs to come in at this time. In other words, we trust the process. And methods of therapy that do trust this process are highly evidence-based not only in terms of short term results, but also in terms of long-term results, unlike some curriculum-based therapies like CBT which only produce short-term results that, according to the research, don’t tend to hold up in the long-term.
  • What to expect: Usually after about one year of traditional talk therapy, looking back at where you were when you started will feel like looking at a “before” picture from the day you decided to grow your hair long, for example. The changes may be very gradual, but the cumulative effect may actually be significant or even drastic, depending on how much integrative work you have to do, how much you have to become conscious of, and based on that new consciousness, how much you’ll put into action in your life.

How I Work

My approach is intuitive, integrative, humanist and individually tailored. What that means is that I have received training in a number of evidence-based therapy modalities, as well as in Jungian dream work techniques, and the integration of oracle cards, astrology, deep imagination, energy work and hypnotherapy in clinical practice. Also, I frequently use proprietary deep imagination journeys in sessions with clients. Since I am devoted to lifelong learning, I am continually adding to my toolkit, and I pull from it with each client in an intuitive, deeply present, and individually tailored way. I bring a feminist, social justice lens to the work as well, and I am constantly considering the ways that political and ecological realities are impinging on the mental and emotional wellbeing of the people I work with. Once in a while, I have an oracular dream for a client, though I cannot predict when or whether this will happen. I only began to share this recently, as I found that it was helping to bring about transformative insight for my clients, but I like to put more emphasis on developing YOUR oracular dreams and gifts than on my own.

EMDR (currently considered the gold-standard evidence-based therapy for treating trauma, as well as anxiety, depression, and even phobias) often structures the meat-and-potatoes of the deeper work I do with clients, although it doesn’t necessarily always need to. It’s not uncommon for me to weave guided deep imagination processes into the structure of EMDR based on parts work, and getting to know each of the internal parts that we are meeting, or that may be throwing up roadblocks, as we move into deeper work together. I approach each member of your internal community with deep kindness, compassion and acceptance, and I will encourage you to bring the same attitude of kindness, compassion and love to your own internal community. Self-compassion and self-love are highly emphasized in my approach. And as I dive into deeper work you (where all the good stuff is!), whether we are using EMDR or not, my approach is ultimately alchemical in the sense that I hold the firm belief that your shame, self-doubt, old anger and even trauma, can be transmuted into the most precious gold of your being.

EMDR and other deep work approaches (throughout history and cultures) share this alchemical thread. Ultimately, I conceive of the work we do as finding, mapping, even seeing visually the energetic and emotional tangles in the physical, energetic, and emotional body, and then allowing those tangles to open up and release the tremendous energy currently eddying and getting stuck in them. Once that energy is freed up, it can be used in activism, art, or stepping into the life of your dreams with more moxy, vitality, courage and gumption than you thought you had.

Additionally, as of 2022, I have been in the process of becoming a lineage-initiated shaman, and I have been weaving ancient shamanic energy medicine techniques into my clinical work with therapy clients. Along the way, I’ve discovered how these powerful, ancient methods compliment and greatly enhance modern Western clinical modalities.

Lastly, I don’t do the blank canvas, chat-bot therapist thing. I bring my whole self to the work. Even though I never talk at length about myself or make the session about me (it’s your time!), you will know the real me. There is no act, no performance of anything other than my human self, helping to facilitate and contain your healing. And I hold that healing space with the purest heart of compassion and acceptance of which I am capable. And in my approach, I am transpersonal enough to believe that sometimes, when we least expect it, we enter divine ground. It descends as a grace and can’t be called on at will.

I hope to speak to you if you’re curious or want to know more! Send me an email 🙂

45 Franklin St. Suite 214
San Francisco, CA 94102

(949) 533-4651

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